Introduction
Grief is one of life’s most universal experiences, yet it often feels deeply personal and isolating. Whether it’s the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, a major life transition, or the loss of something hoped for, grief has a way of reshaping the landscape of our lives.
We don’t just grieve people—we grieve identities, routines, imagined futures, and unspoken words. And while our culture tends to frame grief as something to 'get over,' the t ruth is, grief isn’t a linear process. It’s a lived experience, one that moves through us in waves - sometimes gently, other times like a storm.
Grief Is Not a Timeline
Many people expect grief to follow a predictable path—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, as outlined by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. But in practice, grief is far messier. You might feel acceptance one moment and be overcome by rage or disbelief the next. You might function well for weeks, only to be suddenly knocked down by a song, a smell, or a memory.
There is no “right way” to grieve. There's only your way.
Loss Comes in Many Forms
Grief isn’t reserved for death. It shows up when:
- You leave a job that shaped your identity.
- A friendship slowly fades.
- You receive a health diagnosis that alters the future you imagined.
- A relationship ends—whether by choice or not.
- You move away from a place that once felt like home.
All of these losses deserve acknowledgment. Grief doesn't require justification.
How Grief Manifests
Grief lives in the body as much as the mind. It can look like:
- Fatigue, brain fog, or a tight chest.
- Trouble sleeping or a loss of appetite.
- A short temper or sudden tears.
- Numbness or guilt for not feeling “enough.”
Sometimes people say, “I should be over this by now,” but grief doesn’t work by dates on a calendar. Some days will feel manageable; others may be overwhelming. Healing isn't about forgetting, it’s about integrating the loss into your life story.
Supporting Yourself in Grief
If you are grieving:
- Be gentle with yourself. Your capacity may be limited.
- Create rituals of remembrance—light a candle, write a letter, visit a meaningful place.
- Talk about your loss with someone who can hold space without rushing you.
- Let your emotions move. Tears are not weakness; they are release.
If you are supporting someone who is grieving:
- Don’t try to fix it. Presence is more powerful than advice.
- Avoid platitudes like “Everything happens for a reason.” Instead, say, “I’m here. I care.”
- Offer practical support—meals, childcare, errands.
- Keep checking in. Grief doesn’t end after the funeral.
Living With Loss
Over time, we don’t “get over” grief—we learn to carry it. We grow around it. We find meaning again. The pain may soften, and life may expand in new directions, but the imprint of what was lost remains. And that's okay.
Grief is a form of love. It's the echo of connection. And like love, it deserves our patience, compassion, and care.